Bullies are nightmares in day time for young children. Here are some ideas that you can share with your child to deal with a bully in school.
As a parent you may think being bullied is part and parcel of growing up, making it less consequential for you to intervene. However, the bullies today are a little different than what probably you had to deal with. Children today have more exposed to violence, competition, feelings of jealousy, hatred, and anger. The biggest flaw in the contemporary young generation, is that they are supremely judgmental and critical.
Bullying is an act out of vengeance, since the bully does not have the commendable attributes of the victim, he tries to smother them through bullying. Bullying today is fueled to a large extent by vehement dislike. It is essential that as a parent or as a teacher, you take active part in your child’s trials and tribulations of growing up, just as you are interested in their feats and achievements.
Size Does Matter
Generally, a child bigger in size assumes the role of a bully, as they find it easier to overpower other children. For children, bullying is not determined by intellect or skills, it’s just a matter of power. Assuming the role of a bully also stems from being teased by other children for being bigger than the rest. It could a type of a defense mechanism. If your child frequently keeps mentioning about a such a classmate, try to help your child to understand, that size of a person does not relate to the competency. So, if your child is small in size, that makes him equally smart, if not more, than his/her other counterparts.
Intimidation and Threats
Your child may show signs of isolation at home, may try to avoid school as much as possible, may show reluctance to using school transport, or may completely refrain from school activities. These are clear signs of being intimated and threatened by certain elements in school. As a parent or as a teacher, you need to befriend the child and make him/her speak up about the threatening situation, before your child is scarred for life. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, teasing, insulting, calling names, pranks, gender, racial discrimination, hitting, pinching, destruction of belongings, and making unrealistic demands are some of the acts that a bully would show. So, even if your child remotely mentions something like this, you need to get in touch with the teachers at school and the bully’s parents too. At this point of time, protecting your child from teasing and bullying is of prime importance.
Two Way Street
Bullying is always a two way street. Since your child keeps mum and succumbs to the demands, the bully get aggravated even more. Hence, your child is actually, in an indirect way, fueling to the bully’s unwarranted destructive behavior. Here, you need to teach your child to believe in himself/herself and have faith in his/her strengths and stand up. Ask your child to speak up to the teacher or the authority about the bully. The other way of preventing bullying, is to socialize with other children and making new friends.
Often you may come across advice, as pick your child up from school, change his/her bus ride and completely avoid the bully in every way that you can. A young mind, interprets this, as, it’s OK to conveniently mend your ways to get away from the problem. Instead, deal with the problem up front. The reason why people bully, is because they develop passive aggressive traits, due to unhealthy surroundings, and live in a secret rebellion to get attention. Get in touch with the teachers at school and the bully’s parents and shed light on this dangerous situation for them. Surely, with a clear communication between parents and teachers, the issue can be solved maturely. Help your child to understand the importance and the need to ‘stand up for what is right’ and to stick by it with conviction and faith. Handling a bully is one of the most integral lessons of life, just as stepping into the real world is.