Parents breathing down your neck the minute you step out of the house and wanting to constantly know your whereabouts can ruin you social life and make you feel like a toddler forever!
Having an overprotective parent can make you feel like you are asphyxiating. It can be responsible for killing many a moment that spell b-l-i-s-s, like your first kiss! Overprotective parents may forbid you from doing many things, liking going off on a road-trip, or planning a stay-over party without adult supervision, or something as simple as dating. They may have you biting your nails off and pulling your hair out of exasperation! How to deal with overprotective parents? Surprisingly, it is not so difficult. Find out the ways to deal with overprotective parents as you read on… But before that, let’s take a look at why parents become overprotective around the time your hormones start making you dance to their tunes!
Why Are Parents Overprotective
Some are genuinely scared; some are worried; while some have a strong feeling you are going to do something naughty! There are many reasons why parents become overprotective towards their children. We read about so many suicides, so many teenagers indulging in drugs, so many girls getting themselves pregnant at such an early age, and many more being ravished under the guise of a glamorous career everyday. Road accidents, adventures having turned into misadventures, there is enough reason for parents to be sincerely concerned about their child’s safety, security as well as their emotional, physical and mental well-being. And that is why most parents become overprotective in their bid to protect their children.
As your parents’ child, I would request you to consider the above situation and try your best to understand it as best as you can. I have faith in your parents’ up-bringing. I am also sure they have tried to educate you about how stunts can quickly turn into misadventures and why that is the reason you should be careful. However, the knowledge you have is not complete. Does it mean you are misinformed? No. But there are certain things you understand only with age. It’s like getting over your first crush or break-up. You didn’t know it could hurt so much, right? Or that it could go wrong? But you did find out eventually just how wrong it could get. I know it is difficult (excruciatingly, painstakingly difficult!); but try to bear in mind that of all the different reasons, top-most on your parents’ list is your well-being.
Having said that, sometimes it becomes quite difficult to do just that. Yes sometimes parents tend to go down hook, line and sinker! But there are very simple ways to deal with it. There are all kinds of parents – controlling parents, over-parenting parents, even abusive parents for that matter… trust me, if your lot is only overprotective, you are off the hook! It’s gonna be a lot easier than you thought. Here are some ways that are bound to work for you… they worked for me!
Dealing With Overprotective Parents? Try This…
Ask Them to Have Faith
‘In what?’ you may ask. Well, ask them to have faith in their own up-bringing. They have invested more than a decade of years and countless moments trying to educate you about all kinds of things. They have tried to raise you to become the kind of person who has his/her head on his/her shoulders and his/her heart in the right place. I am quite sure they have done a fantastic job as well. But sometimes parents need to be reminded what a fantastic job they have done! Do that and ask them to have faith.
Build Trust by Volunteering Details
The best way to prevent your parents from breathing down your neck is to keep them informed. Tell them about the coming sleepover. Tell them about your road trip. Tell them if a cute guy asked you out on a date and you want to go. Volunteer relevant details; like what time you will be gathering, whose house will you be gathering at, what the general plan is going to be, if any grown-up is going to be around etc. If you go out and are going to be coming home late, take a minute or two out of your heated gossip and call home to tell them, you’re gonna be late. It’s that easy. Keep them posted, and they won’t have to keep a tab on you.
Sometimes in spite of all this, parents just become really protective. Something like that happened with one of my friends a couple of weeks back. She wanted to go on a trek with some friends. But it had been raining like crazy, and so her mom refused to send her, saying she may slip and fall and injure herself… like she was going to trek bunny-hopping and come tumbling down the mountain-side! If that is what’s happening with you, make your parents sit down and tell them you are ready to take responsibility of your own actions now. Emancipate yourself emotionally and morally. However, do not choose an overseas trip to do that! Start with little things – like buying your first iPod on your own or something like that. Do it tactfully, carefully, and retaining the peace and decorum of the house.
Make a Point Without Making a Noise
It doesn’t have to end up in a fight every time. Sometimes the mere fact that your child is going against you and fighting with you about something makes parents more adamant. It’s not their fault. As you grow up, they may begin to feel like their role in your life is over. It is not. You know it. But they need to be convinced. Choose a happy Sunday morning. Make them some nice waffles. Have them sit down at the breakfast table, and open up with something like “Okay, I wanna talk about few things! No, I’m not pregnant/doing drugs! Relax…! But it is something equally important.” Approach the subject a little casually, and ease them into what you are going to say. I am sure they will see the point. Also you having made your point so nicely would stand for you and show how you have truly grown-up!
Give Them Time Too
Yes you are growing, so is your social circle. But do not leave your parents alone! Take some time out for them as well. I agree you get just one weekend every week. But there are four in a month, which means 8 free days. Surely you can spare one afternoon or one evening and help Dad with his car or Mom in the garden, right? Yes you can. Sometimes parents keep tabs on their children just because they want to know what is going on in their lives. So why not? Don’t make them feel like they are losing you. They are going to appreciate and love you for it. Okay it may feel geeky, nerdy or uncool. But what if your mom had felt it ‘uncool’ to feed you or change your diapers when you were a baby? Ugh! Right? So? Show them the respect they deserve – and they are not so bad, really. (Wink!)
Yes, there is a win-win answer to the age-old dilemma of how to deal with overprotective parents. You only need to know tricks of the trade. Hope the above tips help you build a healthy relationship with your parents – one that stands firm on the pillars on trust, faith, love, and freedom. It will work, if you make it work; and I sincerely hope you do make it work.