How to Deal With Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy

How to Deal With Sibling Rivalry and Avoid Adult Jealousy

Bitterness in sibling relationships is common as the two spend time together and also have to share maximum things. Find in this article the different ways to deal with rivalry and jealousy between siblings...
AptParenting Staff
Last Updated: Mar 6, 2018
As children, we all have fought with our siblings on silly issues, feared the scolding from parents and have also cried when these same people were away and not there. The fights have still not stopped; you just have become a little mature in your behavior and conduct! Such is the comfort level between siblings that you can share your every little secret, fight on silly issues and pull pranks on him/her without caring much about the consequences. You just know your sibling understands you... Fights and the resulting apologizing process is very normal between siblings, and they instead make some wonderful and funny memories to cherish for in the future. But in some families the sibling rivalry, jealousy and frequent fights can be an issue of concern and it can be really painful for the parents to deal with it. Effort should be put in by both the parents and children to prevent minuscule things from hampering the beautiful and precious sibling relationship. Negative feelings like hatred and rivalry can sometimes have undesirable consequences and can leave a bad impact on the relationship. Kids should be taught dealing with these negative emotions so that they face less trouble in relationships when they grow up.

Dealing With Rivalry and Jealousy Between Siblings

There are innumerable reasons that can make one child jealous of his/her sibling. It can be due to one performing better at the school or receiving extra love and attention from the parents than the other. These are the two common reasons, and apart from these, many other issues can make the relation sour. Parents have a responsible role to play to keep the relation between siblings and the home atmosphere peaceful. A few tips to remember and the relationship would be beautiful again.

Talk it Out With Your Parents
There are many things that can provoke jealousy in a person. As I had mentioned it in the previous paragraph, it is mostly because you think your parents are favoring your sibling. Or you must be annoyed at the behavior and constant nagging by your sibling. Rather than brooding over the issue and let it affect your day, communicate everything to your parents. Tell your parents that you would appreciate it if they recognize your work too. Be calm and understand your parents also. What you are calling injustice can also be a result of some misunderstanding or might have occurred unknowingly.

Look at it as an Opportunity
We all get jealous and there is nothing wrong in it. It is one of the human emotions and it depends on us how we deal with it; positively or negatively. Learn to deal with negative emotions in a positive manner. Look at the rivalry as a self improvement measure. Try to improve yourself through competing with your sibling, this especially applies to academics. But do not let jealousy take hold of you, it is a devastating emotion.

Love Your Sibling: He/She is Your Best Friend!
It is difficult for me to understand how can one be jealous of his/her sibling(s). At last, he or she is the one with whom you have shared your childhood and had fun through those silly talks. So solve any misunderstandings if any, through talking it out and spending some quality time with your sibling. You are the children of the same parents and have had the same upbringing and may also share a similar thought process. So learn to respect and care for your sibling, instead of wasting time. It is your duty to protect your brother/sister from the world and also encourage him/her to do better.

For Parents:

Keep in Mind
Dealing with fighting kids could be called the toughest task for parents. The bickering, abusing, crying can be difficult to sort. You as a parent should try not to lose your temper or favor a specific child all the time. Negativity often stems when children feel that their parents are not giving adequate love to them and are favoring the other kid. So be just with both the kids and do not accuse and scold a single child every time. Scold both of them equally, avoid comparison relating to anything and be fair.

Encourage Healthy Competition
Positive rivalry should be encouraged between siblings. Take for example, if your elder kid is performing very well and the younger one is not that good and is only spending time in useless things. What you can do in circumstances like this is encourage the younger one to look up to the elder one as a role model. Avoid a favoring and partial behavior and instead teach your kids the importance of good values.

Jealousy and rivalry between kids is normal but when it crosses the limits, it can prove disastrous and affect the future of the relationship. Misunderstandings and fights in relationships are unavoidable and you should only look at them from a positive angle and try to avoid them as much as possible. So love your siblings, they are your true friends and have fun time together...!
Little sibling boy sitting together in the park
Identical twins
Sibling Rivalry - Accusation