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Deciding not to Have Children

Deciding not to Have Children

Couples today have a lot of reasons for not wanting to have children. If you're one among these, and confused about whether you're thinking right or wrong, this article will definitely help.
Aastha Dogra
The decision of whether to have children or not, should be taken after a lot of thought; it is not something a couple can arrive at in a day. Having and raising children can be a very satisfying experience for some, while for others it can be deeply harrowing. You will find some women who describe motherhood as 'the best thing ever', and on the other hand, women who regret having kids, in spite of loving them immensely. A couple should have a detailed discussion on this subject and reach a conclusion mutually.

Reasons to Not Have Children

Professional Commitments
One of the main reasons why couples these days do not want to have children is that both the man and the woman have demanding careers. They can't take a break from their profession to raise a family. Another professional reason could be the long hours they need to put in work. With the couple rarely getting time to spend with each other, it is almost impossible to take time out for the children as well.

Time for Self
A lot of youngsters feel that they need time for themselves after giving a lot of time to their professional and other personal commitments. Some married individuals believe that as a couple, they're not fit to bring another child into the world. The reasons can range from age to compatibly issues.

Other Causes
Some men and women give up the idea of having children due to environmental and humanitarian reasons. They feel that there are already so many orphaned children who need their love and compassion, so why not care for them? Then there are women who are worried about the growing population and want to do their bit by not having children.

To Have Children or Not―the Pros and Cons

A couple should look at both, the positives and negatives of having children, and then take their decision. First the positives. Children are cute and with their innocence, laughter, and sweet talk, they will make you fall in love with them. You will see that while parenting, there will be a sea of change in your personality. You will be more patient, responsible, in touch with yourself, and perhaps start appreciating your parents some more. The kind of love your children will give you is unmatchable to what you have ever experienced.

The downside of having children is that, both during the pregnancy and after childbirth, you will find yourself neck deep in responsibilities, financial or otherwise. You will be changing diapers umpteen times in a day, waking up at two in the night, trying to put a crying baby to sleep, losing out on your own sleep in the process. With couples not finding time for each other due to the baby's arrival, there is a possibility that their relationship might get affected. There will be less money, lesser time, and more laundry to handle, leaving very little time for you both. And this is not all. Couples who choose not to have children, have more freedom to change careers or change partners at a later stage in life. But once children are born, taking such decisions might not be easy.

For women, there might be a lot of pressure from friends and family to rethink. And it's not just others, the woman herself might be confused over this issue, having been fed with statements like, 'motherhood completes a woman' or 'a woman relives her childhood through her children'. It's not that these statements do not apply to women. For some they might be true, but whether you agree with them or not, is a final call you need to make as a couple.